Looking Ahead

The biggest question that keeps coming back to me is what will be the future like ? What if he does not recover at all and remains like this for the rest of his life ? He may improve a little.... but may not be enough for him to lead a "normal" life. Will he be able to go to school ? Will he finish college ? Will he work ? Will he have a married life ? I hope he does.

What worries me is what will happen to him after me ? I will look after him as long as i live, What will happen to him after that ? Do i still live in US ? Move back to India ? Do i expect his brother to look after him ? maybe he will. What will happen to him now if something happens to me now ! Even if i try to amass some assetts or funds that will suffice for his future... will someone from my family have the heart to atually look after him ? Will they have the patience and tolerance ? Will he be safe ? Can i trust them ?

Dont get me wrong. I have always been a optimist... but i should also think of the worst case scenarios. Hopefully i dont have to worry about all this as he may make a complete recovery ! Amen.

I Hear, I See, I feel ....

I hear you when you call me weird
I hear you when you call me names
I hear you when you say those hurtful things about me
I hear you when you laugh when i play strangely
I hear you when you say i am different
I hear you when you told my mom i cant stay
I hear you when you talk about me being a pain

I see your anger
I see your shame
I see your frustration
I see your desperation
I see your disappointment
I see your irritation
I see your expression

I feel it when you do not celebrate my birthday
I feel the roughness when you hold me tight
I feel it when you do not take me to the party
I feel it when you push me away
I feel it when you compare me to them
I feel it when you give me that stare
I feel it when you do not care

Yes i heard, and i saw ... and i felt hurt.